La vita in Italia è bella! (Life in Italy is Beautiful!)

We arrived here a little more than a week ago and are just getting settled in. To live in another country, you must first leave previous ideas about life behind. As you may imagine, Italy is different and it takes a bit of adjusting. Though it's been a short time since we last wrote, we thought you might enjoy the lighter side of what Italy is like so here are some things you must learn about life in Italy:

Firstly, we’ve never seen a place that required more documents, stamps, seals and official notices! I told my friend George who is in the legal field, this place was tailor-made for an attorney! Unbelievable. Even the copies of copies of copies have official stamps and seals on them. And whoever controls the stamp or the seal has the power! So now you understand why so many seals and stamps. Even signs on doors have official stamps. Never mind if it is some relatively unimportant announcement like, “Starting April 23rd this entrance will no longer be accessible” and it is printed off an inkjet printer. If it doesn’t have a stamp, it means nothing. Everyone will ignore it. They will say, “Apparently, someone with no power or authority placed this sign up.” But if it has a stamp? Whoa, pay attention.

Secondly, everything is done according to the rules except for all that isn’t. What do I mean? What I mean is that the rules are very important here except when they are inconvenient. Everyone makes a big deal about following certain rules, traditions, ways of thinking and doing except when it’s particularly inconvenient or especially impossible…then all bets are off. It’s do what works for the moment! Italians are amazingly adept at creating rules for almost anything except they don’t allow for exceptions. And there are always exceptions. And they know that you know that there are and that you will figure something else out and do it when you can’t obey the rules or the law…and then, and only then, they look the other way. Our friends who have been here for 3 years say that it is a good reminder of the law versus grace. You always follow the law except when you can’t because there’s no other options and then there’s grace.

Thirdly, never tell an Italian more than he or she needs to know. If you tell an Italian more than he or she needs to know, then you will be sorry. Why? Because then he will make you pay the price. Though before you told him, he trusted that you were who you said you were and that he had no reason to worry…once you told him more than he needed to know, he immediately now requires you to give even more information (or documents…they just LOVE documents…especially if they have stamps or seals on them…their whole faces light up). So always let them ask you the questions (it makes them feel like they are in control). And only give them what they ask for!

Fourthly, never start any business transaction over the phone or by e-mail. They have to see your face. For the Italians, this is how they can tell whether you are “okay.” If they can see your face and they trust you, then everything will go okay. But if you start the transaction by phone or e-mail, they will wonder what you are trying to hide. They will think, “Why are they not coming to see me? Are they afraid to show their face? Are they trying to deceive me? Who is this person!? I have not seen his face so I cannot trust him!!!”

Fifthly and very importantly, if it is Italian, it is the best. Never mind that there may be a better, more efficient way. If it is not Italian, it is not so good. For example, they like these ticket machines with numbers for waiting in line. They are everywhere. But the numbers are anything but logical. The other day, we were waiting in line to file for our Permesso di soggiorno and we had to get a number. It was U035. Never mind that the numbers that were up were numbers like J001 and R305 and there was no “U” to be found anywhere. At some point, a U032 will pop up with no explanation at all. And you will think, “Oh, my number will be coming up soon.” Except after that number, an E012 will come up and you will wonder, “What happened?” Until about 5 minutes later, a U33 will come up. And finally you realize, the Italians just choose whatever numbers they want when they feel like it and it’s a game to make you go crazy and to think you are losing your mind. But it is the Italian approach and therefore it is good!!

Lastly, after doing any kind of business, you must have a cappuccino (unless of course, it is after 5pm which if you do, they will think you are crazy because no one drinks milk after 5pm and they will immediately know you are an American!). Cappuccinos are what seal the deal. If you go do some kind of business or have some kind of relationship and do not have a cappuccino or even better, an espresso, then there is something wrong with you. You are showing that you care more about the deal than you do about the relationship. And for Italians, it is all about the relationship. Even if you do not like coffee, you must meet afterwards in a coffee bar at least! You are then showing that you respect this time-honored Italian tradition of talking and relaxing and relating after everything you do.

So you see, we are learning a lot about Italian life! And it it beautiful. Challenging? Yes. But still beautiful. You really don't realize how different life in another culture is until you actually live there. Even though we've visited before, we had never lived here until now. So only now are we learning to truly be and live like Italians. Just think about it...some day soon, we will cease being beginning Italians and start being intermediate or advanced Italians. And then we will be doing everything like the Italians. Paul said, do all things for the sake of the gospel! When in Rome, be like the Romans so if in Udine, you must be like the Udineese!

Love to all our sweet friends and loved ones!